But I offend well. I was sitting around thinking a few days ago, and a joke came to mind, so I decided to write it down before I forgot it. If you get offended easily, best not to read on. In fact, even if you are hard to offend, best not to read on. Hell, no one should read this. Really. It’s that callous. I’m serious.

I never have understood all those leaf-peepers that leave NYC and go upstate each year to look at all the leaves as they change color and fall off the trees. If you wanted to see half dead things of different color falling to the ground, no need to wait for fall, you can go anytime to your local…

nursing home and look at the same thing there.

Dad: Hey Jimmy, that lady’s got an oxygen tube, go kink it and let’s see if she turns a pretty purple or a light blue!

Mom: You know that works better if you replace the oxygen tube with a nitrous tube honey.

Dad: Yeah, but we forgot the tank this time.

Mom: Look Christie, that one’s chart says he’s bed ridden. Why don’t you go poke him with a stick and we’ll see if he turns red! And if he tries to grab you we might get to see one hit the ground!

Jimmy: Hey dad! This one is a pretty color of yellow. Why is that?

Dad: He’s got jaundice Jimmy. Lucky we came when we did, he wouldn’t be here two weeks from now.

Mom: Jimmy, did you bring that big bag of carrots like we told you to?

Jimmy: Yeah mom.

Mom: Great, go force feed the entire bag to this guy, we’ll come back later to see if the beta-carotine has turned him orange!

Christie: Dad, what’s that brown thing on that guy?

Dad: That’s a colostomy bag sweetheart. Gives him a nice two tone color appearance, doesn’t it?

Mom: It sure does, and the deep brown complements the lighter, splotchy brown of his skin. Liver spots and colostomy go well together.

Dad: Well kids, let’s go home. We’ve seen what’s here today. We’ll come back in about 3 months when they have a new batch to look at.

Christie: Dad, do you think they’ll have an albino next time? I’ve never seen one of those…

Dad: Maybe so sweetie, maybe so.