Archive for January 11, 2004

So, I’m getting ready to walk out of the bedroom into the living area and I hear Jessica yell “Holy crap!” I go to see what’s up, and she’s standing in the front entryway with the front door open. Evidently, she went to pull the wreath off the front door, but when she opened the door she saw 3 deer standing in our front yard having a snack. Well, they didn’t immediately run off so she pointed me towards them. About that time they decide maybe our front yard is not the best place to be. Also about that time our smallest dog spots them and starts her siren barking. I’m hoping the combination of both human and dog noises and smells will keep them away so that *maybe* they will quit eating our flowers. Who knows. If not maybe I’ll getting a hunting license and just camp out with a pair of night vision goggles in my office waiting for them to come back and when they do, try and make myself some tasty venison! Yum! (OK, I don’t normally hunt deer, or anything for that matter, but after last March, I just might do so as a revenge type thing…)

I haven’t been posting much (not like I ever did except when I was laid up after surgery and had nothing else to do). But, this time the reason I haven’t is that this holiday season has been soooo long. Back in Sept. I went to Missouri to see my grandmother Ledford right after she was diagnosed with bone cancer (which is pretty much terminal in all cases). Well, in early December, she passed away. Then my parents come out to visit and we have the incident that lead to Zeus passing away. Then, the day after my parents left to come out here, my other grandmother started feeling ill. My mother’s brother, Charles, lives right next door to my grandma Shaner and he looks after her. Well, she just thought she had the flu and didn’t want to go anywhere to get it checked out. So, Charles didn’t push the issue. Then she started feeling a bit worse and thought the flu had gone into pneumonia, but she still didn’t want to go to the hospital, so Charles didn’t make her. Then, after mom and the others made it back home, mom went to visit grandma Shaner. She really didn’t think she looked good and wanted her to go to the hospital, but grandma said she was feeling better and didn’t need to. Mom stayed with grandma that night. The next day mom went home and sent Marge (mom’s sister) out to stay with grandma the next night. At 4am in the morning, mom gets a call from Marge. Marge is all panicky because grandma fell off of the couch in her sleep and couldn’t get back up, so Marge had to put her back on the couch and Marge said grandma just felt like total dead weight while being moved. She didn’t have any strength to help out. Plus, she was cold and clammy to the touch. So, mom decides to call an ambulance whether grandma wants her to or not. Theyget her to the hospital, and as it turns out, the original illness was due to a heart attack and when she fell out of bed at 4am it was caused by another heart attack. At this point, the doctors say her heart is so badly damaged that there isn’t really anything they can do besides give her medicine. So, they kept her a couple days and then checked her out of the hospital (well, if you can’t do anything for someone, then no sense keeping them in the hospital whether they are well or not). Grandma Shaner lives about a 20 minute drive from the closest city, and a good 30 minute drive from any hospital. As bad as she is, that’s *way* too far away from help should she need it. On the other hand, my parents are just 2 minutes from the closest hospital by car.

So, my parents cared for both my great uncle Henry and my grandma Ledford in their home for about the last 3 years. Uncle Henry is still there (but his health is failing too, he has to be on oxygen now). My grandma Ledford just passed away about a month ago. I was thinking my parents would finally get a break from the constant care they’ve been giving for quite a while now. Then my grandma Shaner has this happen and is now living with my parents in the room that grandma Ledford used the use. Grandma Shaner is bed ridden and has to have help to even get out of bed to use the restroom. Evidently, she’s in good spirits and is still all there mentally, but the doctors told mom to cherish every moment that they have with her from now on out because her heart is so badly damaged that she could basically expire at any time.

My parents have been really something to spend as much time as they have caring for relatives in poor health, but I worry about the amount of time and energy this takes from them. They’ve been so busy doing all this stuff for so long that they’ve had to put most of the things in their own lives on hold. They really needed a break from it all after grandma Ledford passed, but now they are right back in the same position they were before she passed. I certainly don’t wish anyone else would pass away, but I do wish my parents had more of their own lives and less stress than they have now. After all, they aren’t in the best of health themselves in some ways and all this stress and work can’t be helping with that.